Posts Tagged ‘Tilting at Windmills’

Rule of Thumb

So here's my method for determining whether or not a particular platform is worthwhile.

I ask myself, "how would David Letterman summarize this?" I know this doesn't seem very scientific, but it's a mask I have years of experience wearing. Trust me on this one.

When the curtain is raised to reveal a total square dancing around with a sign that says, "it's simply XML!" I ask myself, "is this anything?" Then I reflect for a second or two and decide, dismissively, that no. This is nothing.

Lakin Wecker has an alternative approach that involves thinking carefully and considering the lessons of history. I will re-evalutate my approach if our results ever differ significantly.

Some Photos of Brooklyn Renaissance

In front of City Hall, a man plays the steel drums in front of the ZipCar tent. Increased access to the birthright of every citizen (the automobile) was advocated. Free watermelon was served.

ZipCar event

Nearby a person reminds us (via bumper sticker) to drive safely, while parked in a painted bike lane.

Cop in bike lane

The placard in his window lets us know that this person is a hero, rather than an ordinary disgrace.

Placard of cop in bike lane

Back at Etsy Labs, time for the deliveries (that's the sidewalk).

UPS parked on the sidewalk

Also near the Labs, signs that Brooklyn's repressed SUV-owning minority are joining forces and taking back the sidewalks.

Brooklyn Hood Ryderz

Meanwhile, on Brooklyn Bridge Boulevard, a woman is brutally killed.

Woman killed on Brooklyn Bridge Boulevard

If it occurs to anyone that traffic should not be hurtling through Brooklyn at speed, they don't speak up.

Feed Each Other

That site I have been working on in semi-secret for the last six or eight months is now live. Here it is:

http://feedeachother.com

Explanations, walkthroughs, etc. can all be found there.

Most of the credit for this thing really goes to Udi Falkson, one of my old Cornell friends who actually had the balls to quit a great job at Yahoo! to work on this full time. The lion's share of the code is his. I've seen it, and trust me, his dried blood and guts are all over this thing. At least I am pretty sure that's what it is.

Please check it out if you have not already, and add me as a contact. I am very proud of this site–working on something that you personally love and want to use is really satisfying.

People that I would like to thank, some of whom are pretty unlikely to ever notice this unless they google themselves:

  • Darrel Herbst, an early adopter and the source of a lot of typically brilliant feedback.
  • Katya Bassil, for being the best tester ever. You can thank her for Cute Overload working flawlessly.
  • Evan Reiser, for tons of good feedback, visual nitpickery, and for scouring the interweb for competitors.
  • Ron Eigen, for general enthusiasm and inviting a million people.
  • Rich Hedge, for awesome legal advice.

Is XAML an Elaborate Joke?

Don Box says:

As a WPF user, I spend at least as much time reading and writing XAML as I do reading/writing C# code that does WPF-isms. I do spend a lot of time in C#, but little of it is WPF specific, which arguably is one of the strengths of WPF’s data/content facilities.

In my opinion, the sooner folks get thrown into the XAML pool the sooner they learn to swim.

(Emphasis mine.)

I thought the whole point of selling our souls to the XML devils was that development tools would deal with that slop for us.

Forget swimming. I am having trouble seeing any non-masochistic reason for me to learn this at all. I am just not getting through the Microsoft marketing on this one. I say this as somebody with deep-to-extremely-deep knowledge of most of the Microsoft tools of the last 10 years–I'm not Don Box, but I'm also no slouch.

Give me one good reason why I should spend my spare time learning an API that looks like this. (And it would be my spare time. I am still living here in the real world, where it still seems to be occasionally more practical to write Windows platform code in C++, for god's sake.)

Wikipedia reassures me–in a rather hilarious, pleonastic way–that this is "simply XML."

[A] key aspect of the technology is the reduced complexity needed for tools to process XAML, because it is simply XML. As a result, a variety of products are emerging, particularly in the WPF space, which create XAML-based applications. As XAML is simply based on XML, developers and designers are able to share and edit content freely amongst themselves without requiring compilation.

(Emphasis mine.)

Show me one XML-based API that does not, in one way or another, prove this to be an oxymoron. (See also: "Java programmer writes application which reads 243 XML files on startup then wonders why it takes 30 seconds to start." Thanks, Slava.)

Sometimes trite observations become trite because they are obviously correct. Who created the creator? Why re-invent the s-expressions that have been around since the 50's, but poorly? Et cetera. In these cases the fact that the criticism is well-worn does nothing to detract from it.

Maybe I am just being a grizzled old fogey (at the incredibly advanced age of 27.) It wouldn't be the first time that I have been described as a crotchety septugenarian in the body of a young adult. If I am way off the mark here, please enlighten me.

Update, May 20th: Jon Harrop avoids my bitching and gives solutions. See XAML or F#.

Reverse Job Advertisement

I figured this was worth a shot.

I am:

  • Someone that has been hacking since childhood.
  • Someone that has spent most of his Saturday doing problems in a Haskell textbook for fun.
  • Someone that thinks programming is very similar to art, if one is sufficiently good at it.
  • Compelled by forces beyond my control to refactor code until it is elegant.
  • Equally comfortable debugging disassembly, arguing with you about math, and frantically scribbling on your whiteboard.
  • Able to debug your problem. Trust me.

You are:

  • An early stage startup led by software people.
  • Located in Manhattan or Brooklyn, or your idea is so incredibly exciting that I am willing to relocate to participate in it.
  • Not using Java, Visual Basic, or other such variants of COBOL.
  • Able to pay me, so that I can continue to pay my rent and avoid subsisting on boiled newspaper. This either means that you are funded, or you have a very clear idea of how you are going to make money.
  • Not an egomaniac.

If you think that you fit this description, please contact me at mcfunley at (google's mail service).

The reports of my madness may not be so exaggerated

Sometimes I think my quest to get my functional programming skills up to snuff is turning me into a raving lunatic. I keep writing code that inflicts physical pain when kept to myself. Here's a fresh cut and paste out of my emacs:

  applyAll [] = id
  applyAll fs = foldl1 (.) fs

After writing that, I immediately opened up all of my instant messenger programs in search of an imperative programmer to accost. "Don't you see? Don't you see how beautiful this is?" I would say. They almost never see.

Please Stop Spamming the Debugger Output

When I'm writing a GUI or a multithreaded server application, I make heavy use of OutputDebugString (and various API's that map to it). This is a very useful tool when the act of stepping through an application has side effects that drastically change the experiment. Unfortunately, it looks everyone else likes this API, too.

I try to be courteous and pay my developer taxes here–when my application is deployed to customers, rest assured that it will not be writing debugger output by default. I put my calls to OutputDebugString on a switch in one way or another, or I just compile them out in release mode.

(This is not just being kind to anyone trying to debug something else on a machine running my application. I need to do this to avoid embarrassment. I curse quite a bit in my traces.)

Not everybody is taking the trouble to do this. To wit:

Debugger output spam from Visual Studio

If I open up dbmon or debugview and wave my mouse around a little, i'm inundated with messages from these applications:

  • Visual Studio 2005 [by far the worst].
  • Visual SourceSafe [a close second place].
  • Trillian
  • The remnants of Symantec products that I have not yet succeeded in disabling.

I find it particularly annoying that my development tools are hampering my development in this way.

A Minor Victory for Secularism in Lower Manhattan

I'm sure there are those who will find irony in this post's title, but sometimes we have to fight our battles where we find them. Roughly a month ago, I found this statue assaulting my aesthetic faculties at the corner of Water Street and Old Slip.

Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism. Somehow, this monstrosity cost $300,000.

Joseph Smith (of "Latter Day Saint" fame) has a loose historical affiliation with what is now the Financial District, or so I am told. And that much is fine. Despite my overwhelming distaste for the sculpture, I wouldn't be one to complain if it were merely there to point out that "Joe slept here." Fair enough.

Unfortunately, the display really went for the evangelical gusto. There is of course the bravado with which it was erected:

Bless those who come upon this monument, who do not yet know Joseph, with a desire to learn more concerning Thee and Thy Gospel restored through him. May this statue serve in spreading the message of Thy Gospel to growing numbers of local inhabitants and to visitors to this great city. [source]

Which, sickly as it may be, is perhaps not yet in violation of any laws. The inscription on the statue, however, does cross the line. This is the message I sent to the director of the parks department.

I had all but given up on this crusade (pardon the term) when I received a letter dated February the tenth tonight. I'll not reproduce all of it, since I don't want to expose the poor Parks worker to any undeserved criticism and because he expends several paragraphs nonsensically flailing straw men who apparently want to ban sectarian weddings in public parks. This is the important bit:

To that, I sent this in reply.

An outstanding and unexpected turn of events.

Thus Ends the Great Adsense Experiment

I install Adblock on all my machines, so I wasn't seeing any of the ads on my own site. I had thought they were all going to be hilariously off-topic (one that stood out was some guy named "Dan Poynter" plugging his small business), but apparently not. It didn't occur to me that if I wrote articles decrying pet psychics that Google would plaster ads for palm readings all over my site, but in retrospect that was obviously the only possible result. It turns out that the money isn't worth looking like an idiot.

Online Sports Journalism Audition

I'll admit, I personally prefer complete sentences, paragraphs, and attempted grammar. But, I thought I would try to write a "column" that is nothing but a long, bulleted list since this approach seems to be working for the so-untalented-he's-talented Bill Simmons.

Television that ruins an entire day if watched for even one second:

  • Dr. Phil - Relentless shouting. Truisms presented as revelations. "You need to get ahold of your life."
  • Mad TV - Bizzare, almost sinister, terrible acting. Not funny.
  • Anything about Nostradamus on the History Channel - John Hogue, in being what I will call a metafraud, has achieved something very impressive. He has somehow created a career for himself by sort-of-looking-like another fraud who has been dead for five hundred years.

    John Hogue, Bearded Dimwit
  • Anything about the Civil War on the History Channel - Sorry for the lack of variety here, but I just have to mention the guy with the Elmer Fudd accent that is on all of these documentaries. Apparently I am the only person in the world that is bothered by this.
  • The Q-Ray Commercial - If you think you should feel sorry for the people making testimonials, you are wrong. This is a rare intersection of people who deserve to have their money stolen and advertisers who do not deserve to receive money.
  • The 700 Club - Excessive squinting. Miraculously, doesn't seem to be on DirectTV in New York City.
  • Mind of Mencia - The person who greenlighted this trainwreck should receive the death penalty.
  • The Inaudible Fossilized Nun - I have no idea what the real name of this show is, but everyone knows who I'm talking about.
  • Pirate Radio TV - This is a cable access television show in Ithaca, New York. Typical rants include, "why did they move the CVS out to Route 13? Fuck!" and "Cornell students should count in antlerless deer season." It is sometimes entertaining to call in to the live broadcast and argue with the host–he flusters easily.

    The Pirate Radio host: think comic book guy, but not even unintentionally funny.
  • Fox NFL Pregame - Despite my soft spot for Terry Bradshaw, this has devolved into a retard tickle fight.