Posts Tagged ‘Religion’

A Minor Victory for Secularism in Lower Manhattan

I'm sure there are those who will find irony in this post's title, but sometimes we have to fight our battles where we find them. Roughly a month ago, I found this statue assaulting my aesthetic faculties at the corner of Water Street and Old Slip.

Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism. Somehow, this monstrosity cost $300,000.

Joseph Smith (of "Latter Day Saint" fame) has a loose historical affiliation with what is now the Financial District, or so I am told. And that much is fine. Despite my overwhelming distaste for the sculpture, I wouldn't be one to complain if it were merely there to point out that "Joe slept here." Fair enough.

Unfortunately, the display really went for the evangelical gusto. There is of course the bravado with which it was erected:

Bless those who come upon this monument, who do not yet know Joseph, with a desire to learn more concerning Thee and Thy Gospel restored through him. May this statue serve in spreading the message of Thy Gospel to growing numbers of local inhabitants and to visitors to this great city. [source]

Which, sickly as it may be, is perhaps not yet in violation of any laws. The inscription on the statue, however, does cross the line. This is the message I sent to the director of the parks department.

I had all but given up on this crusade (pardon the term) when I received a letter dated February the tenth tonight. I'll not reproduce all of it, since I don't want to expose the poor Parks worker to any undeserved criticism and because he expends several paragraphs nonsensically flailing straw men who apparently want to ban sectarian weddings in public parks. This is the important bit:

To that, I sent this in reply.

An outstanding and unexpected turn of events.

What Does it Take?

What does it take? Influential sources seem to disagree.

On BookTV today is someone who seems to think that It Takes a Parent. Rick Santorum, who appears to actually believe all that “God” business, disagrees. It Takes a Family, he says.

Nauseating carpetbagger Hillary Clinton isn’t content with the scope of her political opponent’s book, and tells us through her ghostwriter that It Takes a Village. But even she has her detractors who think that It Takes a Dog to Raise a Village. And keep the Knights Templar from aiming their radiation beam at your brain, I guess, I don’t know.

Where do I fall in the Great Pap Debate? For the most part I think I side with those who say, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back.

I Might Have Weird, Mystical Powers

To wit:

  • I just guessed that “Mind of Mencia” was the worst show on television without having seen it. Turns out I was right.
  • A colleague was having a strange problem with an application; I told him to delete an obscure, remnant .dll twelve directories deep that had been removed from the build process eight months prior, instantly fixing the problem.
  • I always suspected Pat Robertson was a diseased shitbag.

John Dvorak Benefits from the Public Stupidity he Decries

Something has been bothering me about John C. Dvorak’s site for the last few days. This post in particular drove me to write about it. Here is a screenshot of the post. I would like to point out two things.

John Dvorak promotes pseudoscience

Figure (1) is John Dvorak complaining about public ignorance and stupidity. For this, I would normally applaud him. Figure (2) is John Dvorak profiting from public ignorance and stupidity.

Perhaps Dvorak isn’t in control of the content of that ad. If that’s the case, hopefully he’ll stop using that particular vendor. If he doesn’t, I don’t think there’s anything you can call this behavior other than every gadfly’s favorite insult, hypocrisy.

Some of the comments to his post are seriously pretty scary. Somehow, these people are allowed to procreate.

There is a slight parallel here to My God Problem, which is a thought-provoking article by Natalie Angier that appeared in Free Inquiry magazine. Simply put, the point is this: you cannot turn a blind eye to certain (popular) superstitions and still bemoan the public’s inexplicable distaste for evolution.

Conversations in the Park

Hoboken appears to be overrun with evangelicals. Last week on my way to the train there was a gentleman standing quietly with a sign that read:

CATHOLICISM IS THE ONLY TRUE RELIGION

ALL NONBELIEVERS WILL SUFFER HELLFIRE

It certainly made me glad that his god only exists in his head.

So I went down to the park today to get some reading done, but it wasn’t in the cards. I ended up spending most of the time speaking to two groups of people who were very interested in “saving” me.

Part I – The Young Brazilian Girls

This one was very confusing. It mostly went like this.

“Don’t you believe in the Bible?”

“I believe that it exists. What do you mean, exactly?”

“Why do think there’s all this evil in the world?”

“What?”

“Don’t you believe in the devil?”

“Why did god create him, again?”

Except I feel like we covered that material three or four times. These girls were pretty attractive, but not prepared to debate. That’s a shame, from their point of view. I have no doubts that they would be a real “double-threat” if they could draw from even a few Aristotelian ideas, or throw out some quotes from Thomas Aquinas.

They also kept asking me if I remembered this scene or that scene from The Passion of the Christ. I’ve never seen the Passion of the Christ. Is it a good sign or a bad sign that serious Christian thought has devolved to the point of being dictated by Mel Gibson?

That went on for about a half an hour, until one of them made the “talk to the hand” motion at me and walked away (I am not making this up). I thought I was conversing in a reasonably calm way, by my standards.

After that, I tried moving to a quieter park. The one right on the waterfront is thunderdome, anyway.

Part II – The Jersey Guy

This encounter was much more interesting. This was with a very soft spoken gentleman wearing a tie. “I’m not a Mormon or a Jehovah’s witness,” was the first thing he said. He appeared to be trying to start his own religion. Bravo, good for him.

He spent some of his allotted timeslot complaining about “preachers and priests that drive around in Mercedes,” as he put it. He also stated that “the Bible proves evolution,” which put a pretty interesting spin on the conversation.

Perhaps it was his intention, but I was actually arguing against the absolute provability of a thing like evolution.

“It’s so incredibly likely to be true that you could say that it is proven, but I don’t think any real scientist would say such a thing,” I said. “When you say that the Bible proves it, you’re giving away a very different idea of ‘proof’ than I have.”

He was, (not surprisingly, I guess), impressed with the Bible’s powers of prophecy. He shied away from it, I think detecting that it wouldn’t win me over. We talked about the vague wording, lack of falsifiability, and rationalizing after the fact that is involved in prophecy, and he conceded that I was probably right about that.

In the end, we agreed that I had no answers for him, and he none for me. And we decided that recruiting people to follow you is not a good idea in general, because people should think for themselves. All in all, a very pleasant conversation. It could have been one of the scenes in Waking Life.

Part III – Winding Down

I came back and my roommate was drinking wine and eating cheese. “You need to take the wax off of that cheese before you eat it,” he said. Oh, do I? I bit down. Yes, it turns out that I do. But being a contrarian is fun nonetheless.

No True Object Programmer, Part Deux

Edit (2/28): What I have to say about raising an event asynchronously in VB is very incorrect. If you got here by googling “raise event async VB“ (or thereabouts), do not listen to me. Read Bill McCarthy's comment about it.


Well, Bill loves VB.NET, and knows a lot about it. I am in a slightly different camp, in that I (arguably) know a lot about it because I am forced to use it at work, but I haven’t grown to love it very much.

But as to your difficulty in parsing VB.NET code, well as you said, VB.NET is actually more natural. It is probably more that you need practice reading and writing the code.

I concede that this is probably true. I’ve been staring at C/C++/Java/C# since I was 11 years old, so it’s quite likely that’s the only reason I find it more natural. It doesn’t really help that I switch between VB.NET and C# projects on an almost hourly basis these days. I’ll jump to the VB project and start typing:

StringBuilder sb = …

Whoops. Wrong one. Apparently I can’t make the jump as effortlessly as the woman shouting into a cellphone on the train next to me last week weaved an intricate and impressive unbroken stream of Spanish/English (“Spanglish?”).

So yes. Readability is probably a personal problem.

This started out, I guess, as a discussion about which language was “more OO.” That’s may be a vague metric, so I’ll try to limit the discussion here to which language lets you accomplish the task at hand in the simplest possible way with minimal connectivity and shared knowledge between your objects.

In the case of events, I think that at best, this is a draw. This is an opinion.

VB wins when it comes to a few useful abstractions: the RaiseEvent keyword, and declarative event handling (the WithEvents/Handles keywords).

In a comment on Bill’s blog, I referred to these as “leaky abstractions” (to borrow shamelessly from Joel). What I mean by that is, they work beautifully in the simple cases, but in more sophisticated situations they break down and you’re forced to understand what is actually going on. VB may or may not leave you with a way out, once you’ve done the learning bit.

My first example here was raising an event asynchronously. Here is code that accomplishes calling event handlers on another thread in C#.

internal class MyClass
{
    public event EventHandler MyEvent;

    protected virtual void OnMyEvent(EventArgs e)
    {
        this.MyEvent.BeginInvoke(this, e, null, null);
    }
}

Here is code that accomplishes the same task in VB.NET.

Friend Class SomeClass
    Public Event MyEvent As EventHandler
    Private Delegate Sub EventRaiserDelegate(ByVal e As EventArgs)

    Protected Overridable Sub OnMyEvent(ByVal e As EventArgs)
        RaiseEvent MyEvent(Me, e)
    End Sub

    Protected Overridable Sub OnMyEventAsync(ByVal e As EventArgs)
        Dim del As EventRaiserDelegate = AddressOf OnMyEvent
        del.BeginInvoke(e, Nothing, Nothing)
    End Sub
End Class

Bill’s correct, you can raise an event asynchronously in VB.NET, albeit in a roundabout way. Unless there's a radically different method I haven't thought of, I need to write and then call OnMyEventAsync, which calls a traditional event raiser on another thread.

Here is where I think the claim that VB is “more OO” breaks down. The representation of the event as a list of functions (which is what C# gives you) was significantly simpler for us in this case. We got the job done with less code, so in my mind C# wins the OO battle here.

As to events in Vb.NET, I'm sorry but there is no "inadvertant GC rooting". I don't know who told you that, but you/they were sorely mislead.

On serialization, Vb.NET has absolutely no problems with XML serialization. There is however an issue with binary serialization and MarshalByRef classes. The real problem is MarhsalByRef classes, eg a Windows.Form, cannot be binary serialized. If you need to work around that, you can do so in Vb.NET 2005, and more elegantly than C#.

Poor terminology on my part, I guess. What I was referring to with “GC rooting” was the situations where a programmer attempts to dereference an expensive object so that it may be collected. A common mistake is leaving events wired up (and hence, a reference that has a gc root).

Is that any more difficult to deal with in VB than it is in C#? No, not really. Touché. But am I justified in calling an event a “leaky abstraction” if they require a deeper understanding of function pointers and GC in order to keep your program from hogging memory? I think so.

So that leaves the last sitch: serialization. MarshalByRef is actually not what I was thinking about, but it’s closely related. MarshalByRefObjects are at least serializable, and unless you are persisting to a storage medium you will succeed in serializing a graph if your only mistake is having a ObjRef going along for the ride.

Objects that are not [Serializable()] at all are a bit more problematic. You’ll get an exception which will be difficult to track down if you have event handlers wired up to any of these. C#’s got an easy way out (google it; my post is getting really long, dammit). The hacks VB will force you into in some cases is likely to make you cry. I know it made me cry.

So which language is “more OO?” That’s impossible to answer objectively, and it probably makes no sense to even try, but I’ll tender a personal opinion.

My feeling is that VB gives you some keywords that are useful for simple OO. Unfortunately, it obscures some of the underlying nuts and bolts, and this gets in the way of your own attempts at OO abstraction. C#, on the other hand, is a little better at ensuring that the realities of the CLR are quickly accessible if you need them.

In an ideal world, we’d have both in one language. But forced into a choice, I’ll opt for seamless access to the guts. Keeping my own objects as loosely coupled as possible is what I’m most interested in doing.

No True Object Programmer

Did you love the No True Scotsman argument? Well, get ready for the arguments!!

Explicit Interface mapping. This is incredibly cool. Unfortunately a lot of people just don’t get how important this concept is to true OO.

He continues:

As to VB.NET over C#, VB.NET is actually a far more OO language when you look at the actual implementation details.

(did I hear a record scratch?)

Far more?

At the risk of Ad Verecundiam, I’ve actually been on the phone with a Microsoft employee who said these words: “C# is a much better choice if you intend to do object development.”

Bill doesn’t expand on that argument really, other than the appeal of the End keyword. It would be a silly thing to get into an argument about, but my feeling is that End XXX makes VB code less readable. I would like to see more reasons why this could be true.

I apologize for any haughty, dismissive tone. I wrote this while working on a brick of Parmigiano Reggiano and sucking down a bottle of Chianti, so it just kind of came out that way.

Six Reasons I Will Never Read The Da Vinci Code

In no particular order. I’m sure I could think of more than six, but it’s a round number.

  1. People seem to get worked up about it. Some tend to be ambiguous, trying to take credit for the ideas contained within it in an attempt to sound intelligent or informed.
  2. It has sparked TV specials endlessly advertised during the only network programming I have watched in the last five years, namely, football and baseball.
  3. My doctor advised me against participating in crazes. Also: fads, manias, fevers, trends, and rages.
  4. From what I have heard, all of the fawning over the Golden Ratio, numerology, and other pseudoscientific language would probably get me very annoyed.
  5. If you walk onto a subway car and more than two people on the same car are reading a book, it is virtually guaranteed that they are “reading TV.” Life is too short to read crap.
  6. I haven’t made it to the “religion” thing yet, I still haven’t gotten over the digital watches.

Please leave me a note if you believe me to be mistaken.

Losing God in the Fallacies

I was recently given the book Finding God in the Questions: A Personal Journey by Dr. Timothy Johnson in a failed bid to help me rediscover my religion. Let me start by saying that this is not normally the kind of book I would bother reading. It is banal, predictable, and as I will explain, largely fallacious.

However, having basically read it on a bet, I feel compelled to respond to it.

First, some background. You may be familiar with Timothy Johnson from various ABC News programs – he is the medical editor for that network. Aside from reporting on the Columbia prayer study that turned out to be a fraud1, most of his spots that I have seen personally have been reasonably informed.

Timothy Johnson

As he explains in the first chapter, Johnson has longstanding personal ties with the Christian faith2. Much to his credit, he certainly could not be described as a Robertson or Falwell fundamentalist. He is by no means a young-earth creationist. He does not seem to reject evolution outright, as one might hope from a physician.

Johnson is, however, is an Intelligent Design apologist. In the end, Mr. Johnson's evidence is imagined or nonexistent and he draws the conclusions that he wants to draw.

Johnson's book begins by talking about the scientific case, as he sees it, for the existence of God. The remaining sections are concerned with Christianity in particular. It is in the first section that I see the most reason for quarreling. I am simply too far from statements such as this:

…I personally believe that the otherwise unexplainable success of the early Jesus movement verifies the reality of the resurrection; in other words, I believe it really happened3

to bother replying. I would never finish this article were I to spend time on the definition of "otherwise unexplainable" and why this assertion is false.

And in truth, Johnson is a very moderate Christian in many respects. It doesn't make much sense to criticize his respect for the "historical Jesus" (whatever that is) when there are so many fire and brimstone types available.

Hindsight 20/20

Reading this book, I found I the following quote from Feynman constantly making its way to the front of my brain.

I had the most remarkable experience this evening. While coming in here I saw license plate ANZ 912. Calculate for me, please, the odds that of all the license plates in the state of Washington I should happen to see ANZ 9124.

It would not be accurate to say that his entire argument rests on instilling a sense of wonderment in the reader by reflecting on the enormous improbability of events that have already transpired. However, to a great degree this is the case. (The title of this section is, of course, a bad play on his worldview and the popular news magazine that he frequents).

The first truly jaw dropping work specious reasoning I found was in the second chapter, where he basically constructs the following syllogism.

  1. An idea frequently used to convey the law of big numbers is the "thousand monkeys banging on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years" analogy.
  2. In truth, given a thousand years a thousand monkeys would probably still not produce the combined works of Shakespeare.
  3. Therefore, given an infinite length of time, an event such as a universe with complex life is similarly unfathomable.

He goes so far as to say,

For me, the most dramatic analogy of the improbability of chance alone accounting for life as we know it comes from the same Fred Hoyle who coined the term "big bang": "The chance that higher life forms might have emerged in this way is comparable with the chance that 'a tornado sweeping through a junk-yard might assemble a Boeing 747 from the material therein.'"5

It is worth pointing out a minor problem here, in that Hoyle unwittingly coined the term "big bang" in an effort to decry the idea6. Hoyle was one of the last proponents of steady-state cosmology, an idea that the universe is described by one of a few infinite-duration models.

In making this argument, Johnson displays an appallingly unsophisticated understanding of probability. Use whichever terminology you like – "infinite length of time," "infinite number of trials," whatever you want. When infinity is involved, all events with nonzero probability are absolutely certain to occur!

We are of course both making the implicit assumption that "probability" has any meaning outside of our universe, and perhaps also the assumption that "outside our universe" holds any meaning. I will spare everyone the headache of getting involved in this discussion.

God of the Gaps

Johnson makes quite a big deal out of the fact that living organisms have arisen from nonliving materials. He makes sure to point out that Darwin didn't know how this might have occurred7, as if Darwin wrote the unalterable gospel of scientific thought on the subject.

In asserting that because Darwin could not explain this process in the mid-nineteenth century, that a description shall ever be "unfathomable," Johnson has effectively retreated into a "god of the gaps" argument.

Even if we cannot yet adequately model something, we are not justified in saying that it is therefore an unlikely event. Complex adaptive systems developing when sufficient chemistry is available may in fact be highly likely. He is drawing a fallacious connection between (perceived) complexity and probability.

Cosmic Coinkee-dinks

Dr. Johnson is quite taken by what he terms "cosmic coincidences," one of which is apparently the fact that Earth orbits the sun without being flung into interstellar space.

…if the planets formed were too close to each other, they could destabilize orbits. The distance between planets in our solar system is about 30 million miles, just the right distance for stable orbits7.

Let's take a closer look at that second sentence, as it certainly set off several alarm bells in my head and I hope it did the same in yours. Here are the actual figures for the distances between the commonly-accepted nine planets. The first numerical column is the distance between each planet and the sun in astronomical units. The second is the same measure in millions of miles, and the last is distance from the previous orbit8.

Planet AU Millions of Miles Difference
Mercury 0.38 35 -
Venus 0.72 67 32
Earth 1.0 93 26
Mars 1.5 140 47
Jupiter 5.2 480 340
Saturn 9.5 880 400
Uranus 19 1800 920
Neptune 30 2800 1000
Pluto 40 3700 900

This is of course a simplification, as the actual orbits are not circular. The average is an order of magnitude from the stated 30 million miles, and where they got the idea that this is the "right distance for stable orbits" is beyond me. Frankly I am not interested enough in this drivel to bother finding out.

Dr. Johnson cites a book called Nature's Destiny by Michael Denton as the source of this unbelievable, outrageous error. I circled this citation in my copy of the book, planning on making a note of how much he relied on this source. He made the job pretty easy for me.

For this section I am relying heavily on a book titled Nature's Destiny by Michael J. Denton, a senior research fellow in human molecular genetics at the Universe of Otago in New Zealand9.

Michael J. Denton and his ideas are beyond the scope of this paper, but suffice it to say that he is huge in creationist circles but not highly regarded in the scientific community. Some critiques of his work can be found here and here.

Moving on, Johnson marvels at the fact that life has evolved into forms that are physically possible. As opposed to, I guess, forms that would have no chance of surviving in our corner of the universe.

…the majority of the electromagnetic radiation produced by the sun is… [in the] range needed to provide the energy for the great majority of chemical reactions that occur in living creatures. And here is the real kicker: the electromagnetic radiation in the other wavelengths is very dangerous to human life10.

So successful living things use energy sources that are abundant, as opposed to sources they'd have trouble locating. And humans live in an area of the universe where they would not instantly fall over and die. This is fascinating, groundbreaking stuff. Really it is.

I'm still trying to get this straight—and if you'll bear with me here I think it might help if I try to write out his syllogism once again.

  1. The universe contains water, light, oxygen, and carbon.
  2. The universe also contains life forms that have developed to take advantage of these resources in various ways.
  3. Therefore the universe was expressly designed for the purpose of developing those forms of life.

Now I see. Well, I'm convinced. Sign me up.

I expected that his argument would be more sophisticated, but it really is not. He of course mentions the apparently "fine-tuned" physical constants, but shows no sign of comprehending the possibility that they are artifacts of our incomplete physical models. The Standard Model does not include their derivations, so according to him no derivations must exist. They must be divinely fixed. More god of the gaps.

Jumping to Conclusions

I don't know how serious Dr. Johnson really was about authoring a scientific argument for a god. Indeed, there is another half to this book concerned mostly with Jesus and the gospels, and there is frequent discussion of his own doubts and beliefs.

Presumably, if he were serious about the scientific questions, he would read and cite more sources that are hostile to the Intelligent Design apologists. He seems to only be interested in supporting his preconceptions.

This book is more about Dr. Johnson convincing himself than it is about Dr. Johnson convincing anyone else. In this effort, I am sure that he has succeeded admirably.

  1. Flamm, Bruce. The Columbia University 'Miracle' Study: Flawed and Fraud Skeptical Enquirer Magazine, September 2004; reprinted on CSICOP website.
  2. Johnson, Timothy. Finding God in the Questions: A Personal Journey. InterVarsity Press, 2004; pp. 17-18.
  3. Johnson, p. 130.
  4. Feynman, Richard. This Unscientific Age. 1963.
  5. Johnson, p. 38.
  6. Various. Fred Hoyle. From Wikipedia.
  7. Johnson, p. 44.
  8. AU figures are from Wikipedia. Calculations mine.
  9. Johnson, p. 46.
  10. Johnson, p. 48.

Fear and Loathing in Middle America

Briefly, between Pittsburgh International and my house, my mother was listening to the Oliver North radio show. A breathless woman called in to share this nugget with the world:

We were watching [National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation] last night, and at the point where the old woman is supposed to say grace but says the pledge of allegiance instead, they BLEEPED OUT GOD.

Clearly a paranoid delusion or a hoax, but it is beyond my powers of deduction to figure out which it is. I must say that if I wanted to start an urban legend and watch with glee as it spread, I would try to word it about like that.

So we switched the channel to NPR for a while, and they had a (lengthy) story about the patriotic country song being promoted under false pretenses by an artist’s fan club. I’d heard of this before, but I hadn’t paid much attention. The NPR piece, however, included a clip of the song including these lyrics:

Cause I’ve been to Hiroshima

And I’ve been to the DMZ

“Did I just hear that?” I asked my mother. “Yes, you did,” she replied.

I must say the drive was not a totally negative experience. There is nowhere else in the world with vandals that you would actually call “almost helpful.” Someone spraypainted this graffiti over a roadsign near my house:

DANGER DEERE CROSSING