Men,

As you slave away at your desks today, putting the finishing touches on another outstanding release, you can know it was all worth it. You have made it. You are now #3 on an arbitrary list somewhere:

http://biz.yahoo.com/special/bestjobs05.html

I know what you’re thinking – “Oscar, many of the jobs beaten by ‘computer software engineer’ on that list are not, in fact, real or respectable professions. ‘Chiropractor’ and ‘advertising manager,’ for instance.” I know, I know, this looks suspiciously like a plot by management to squeeze more work out of you. But it isn’t. Probably, anyway. I don’t have any conclusive evidence that that’s what it is.

But while you’re thinking about that think about this: god gave us the data and it’s up to us to make it dance.

Dancing’s something that can be a wonderful end in itself! Even if you are just dancing because someone is firing a revolver at your feet, for the amusement of a legion of dumbass pretty-boys who work in nice offices and go home at 5:00. You can still derive pleasure from the act of dancing. If you’re the kind of person that likes dancing, I guess, which most of us probably aren’t. But I digress.

Looking at the end of this thing, I am astonished at how much we have accomplished. I always knew I would be laughing all the way to the bank. Even if I had no business there.

“Do you have an account here, sir?” They’d say.

“No,” I’d say.

But I would be laughing, laughing, because I am beautiful. What was I talking about? I lost my train of thought there.

Your buddy,
D. Oscar McKinley